I love Spring!!! It gives me hope of new time of year. The pretty flowers make me smile. The thought of seeing the sun and being outside to soak it up more often makes me happy. I enjoy the longer days as we head towards the summer months. The thought of taking my nieces and nephew to the play park and chasing them all over this year is an especially nice thought.
I am using this spring to symbolize a new chapter, I look forward to a more active spring and summer. Walking around and enjoying the fresh air more. Making my quality of life so much better. For so long, I've always said I enjoy exercising at night more than during the day, but I think that was a sign of me just not wanting other to see me. So my new challenge will be to exercise during the daylight hours this week.
I hope everyone has a great first week of April!!!
"Be your own sunshine and your light will radiate to others." - Me
Monday, April 1, 2013
Friday, March 22, 2013
Amazing Support People
Today, I would like to focus on what it means to have supportive people. I have read and thought through this topic a lot as it relates to my eating disorder. I'm fortunate to have so many different types of supportive people in my life.
I have found there are three categories of support in my life. Professionals, family and friends.
The professionals in my life really understand what I'm going through and help me to make better choices or reframe my thinking. I am super fortunate to have an amazing nutritiionist and therapist that every couple of weeks, they take time out their schedules to care and help me cope.
My family may not always know what is going on in my head, but they are always there. Always, they are there for me to call when I'm struggling. Most of them time, they just let me chatter away, because they know that is what I need to get through the moment.
Lastly, there are my friends. I don't expect them to be there all the time, but I do expect them to just be supportive. I happen to have some outstanding friends that when I need to veg or de-stress they are always there.
These people make me smile every day and make me want my recovery more and more. I hope you take time to think through who will most support you in your recovery and make sure they know they are appreciated.
Happy Friday to all!!!! I hope you have a fabulous weekend.
“Encourage, lift and strengthen one another. For the positive energy spread to one will be felt by us all. For we are connected, one and all.”
- Deborah Day
I have found there are three categories of support in my life. Professionals, family and friends.
The professionals in my life really understand what I'm going through and help me to make better choices or reframe my thinking. I am super fortunate to have an amazing nutritiionist and therapist that every couple of weeks, they take time out their schedules to care and help me cope.
My family may not always know what is going on in my head, but they are always there. Always, they are there for me to call when I'm struggling. Most of them time, they just let me chatter away, because they know that is what I need to get through the moment.
Lastly, there are my friends. I don't expect them to be there all the time, but I do expect them to just be supportive. I happen to have some outstanding friends that when I need to veg or de-stress they are always there.
These people make me smile every day and make me want my recovery more and more. I hope you take time to think through who will most support you in your recovery and make sure they know they are appreciated.
Happy Friday to all!!!! I hope you have a fabulous weekend.
“Encourage, lift and strengthen one another. For the positive energy spread to one will be felt by us all. For we are connected, one and all.”
- Deborah Day
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Sewing to Distraction
So about a month ago, I treated my self to a nice, but not to fancy sewing machine. I decided I needed something to distract myself when I get the urge to eat. Nothing is a better distraction in my mind than projects.
My first project is a blanket for one of my friend's adorable baby. I thought it would take me forever to pick up this sewing skill. However, I took my first class on Tuesday and last night I sewed the whole front of a blanket. I found myself so wrapped up in the project that two hours had passed in no time flat. This got me to thinking of how I could integrate this into my everyday life for a good cause.
I want to make some stuff to sell on my Etsy site,but I need a lot of practice. So this got me to think about how the quote "practice makes perfect", and just maybe I could smake some for charity to be my practice items. This weekend JoAnn Fabrics has a wonderful coupon that takes an additional 25% off sale and clearance material. I will be begin scouting for clearance fabric and make blankets and dolls clothes for children's charities. I'm so excited about this idea. I love the idea of giving back. I'm thinking of donating to Project Linus, St. Jude and maybe some local charities.
I challenge you to find things that distract you from thinking about you disorder. I felt so much strength come out of this discovery that I knew it would make a great blog topic. Please feel free to comment if you have suggestions for charities or if you want to share what distracts you from your ED.
Amy
My first project is a blanket for one of my friend's adorable baby. I thought it would take me forever to pick up this sewing skill. However, I took my first class on Tuesday and last night I sewed the whole front of a blanket. I found myself so wrapped up in the project that two hours had passed in no time flat. This got me to thinking of how I could integrate this into my everyday life for a good cause.
I want to make some stuff to sell on my Etsy site,but I need a lot of practice. So this got me to think about how the quote "practice makes perfect", and just maybe I could smake some for charity to be my practice items. This weekend JoAnn Fabrics has a wonderful coupon that takes an additional 25% off sale and clearance material. I will be begin scouting for clearance fabric and make blankets and dolls clothes for children's charities. I'm so excited about this idea. I love the idea of giving back. I'm thinking of donating to Project Linus, St. Jude and maybe some local charities.
I challenge you to find things that distract you from thinking about you disorder. I felt so much strength come out of this discovery that I knew it would make a great blog topic. Please feel free to comment if you have suggestions for charities or if you want to share what distracts you from your ED.
Amy
Monday, March 18, 2013
Hitting the Reset Button
On Friday, I gave myself homework to do. So I've spent the weekend re-organizing and resetting my recovery tools.
I removed the information not necessary in my special Pink binder, added lots of paper for both my food journal and other misc writing tasks. On Saturday, I went back to what works for me and that is writing down my eating. Even though my eating patterns may not be what they were in program, when I see it on paper, it helps both me and my dietician identify missteps or things I could be doing differently. It does one other major thing for me: it holds me ACCOUNTABLE. Something that I constantly identify as a missing component when things go down the wrong path.
Additionally, up to this point, I've be renting my books from the library reading them and buying the ones that are helpful. Well, this means they are only helpful at home and I can't carry them all with me. This weekend, I made the choice to download the Nook app and the very first book I downloaded was "Life without Ed". Now when I'm struggling. I can pull it up on my phone, read a few pages that are good references and calm myself back down. This helps to quiet ED and Little Miss Perfect down a little.
Additionally, I took the time to re-read the first few chapters and the one that talks about the other people in room, gave me a few other voices to listen for that can be dangerous. One is the Timekeeper and the other was the Should Have Monster. I can distinctly say that all of these also play a part in my life. The Should Have Monster takes over when Miss Perfect rings the bell on what I didn't do correctly. This personality traits are fine when you can take their feedback and use it constructively. However, I've found, they just make me want to eat away my mistakes.
My task list for this week is:
I removed the information not necessary in my special Pink binder, added lots of paper for both my food journal and other misc writing tasks. On Saturday, I went back to what works for me and that is writing down my eating. Even though my eating patterns may not be what they were in program, when I see it on paper, it helps both me and my dietician identify missteps or things I could be doing differently. It does one other major thing for me: it holds me ACCOUNTABLE. Something that I constantly identify as a missing component when things go down the wrong path.
Additionally, up to this point, I've be renting my books from the library reading them and buying the ones that are helpful. Well, this means they are only helpful at home and I can't carry them all with me. This weekend, I made the choice to download the Nook app and the very first book I downloaded was "Life without Ed". Now when I'm struggling. I can pull it up on my phone, read a few pages that are good references and calm myself back down. This helps to quiet ED and Little Miss Perfect down a little.
Additionally, I took the time to re-read the first few chapters and the one that talks about the other people in room, gave me a few other voices to listen for that can be dangerous. One is the Timekeeper and the other was the Should Have Monster. I can distinctly say that all of these also play a part in my life. The Should Have Monster takes over when Miss Perfect rings the bell on what I didn't do correctly. This personality traits are fine when you can take their feedback and use it constructively. However, I've found, they just make me want to eat away my mistakes.
My task list for this week is:
- Journal my food (good or bad)
- Start back up my exercise program (nothing huge, maybe 30 mins 3X this week)
- Re-write my What I wish you knew poem. If you are not familiar with this poem. Google it, for the ED people that read(It will ring far more true then you wish) For support individuals, only read it if you are strong enough to want to know the struggle. I cry every time I read, but I challenge you to take it and write your own very. The benefits far outweigh the pain you experience while writing.
“No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.” George Burns
Friday, March 15, 2013
Stress Effects on My Eating Disorder
I have not blogged in quit sometime due to stress and just not knowing what to do with all the chaos going on in and around me. This week after a very important discussion, I stopped to assessed what was going on and took some time to figure out how to get myself back in the right place to focus on me. Thanks to a very special person that is always able to get me back in the right frame of mind. I never wonder to far off the path.
As I started to review what was said to me in this discussion, it occurred to me that this person highlighted one very important key to figuring me out. That is my very distinct patterns that I get in. When I get stressed or wound up about stuff, I immediately fall back on what I know to cope and that is I let myself get so wound up I don't know what to do with myself.
I read a very important book a month ago called "Life without Ed". The book is a remarkable read. I found it to be so helpful. It helps you to identify all those things or personalities that tell you bad things. I say I have to people that talk to me, no I don't hear voices, I have personality traits that live inside of me. One is what the book calls my abusive boyfriend Ed, he tells me I'm never good enough. The other one in the book and I love what they call her, that is Little Miss Perfect. She has a very loud voice in my life. I had learned to control her a bit in program and to tell myself it was OK not to be perfect. Let's face it, no one is perfect and everyone fails. It is how you deal with the failure or what you view as failure that makes a difference. Mine is more about what I view as failure or not meeting others expectations.
So my homework assignment for the weekend will be to re-evaluate how I have coped most recently with all the To Do's in my work and personal life and figure out what the right balance should have been and where I should have asked others for help.
I will close out with my favorite thing to do in my blogs and that is a quote. Today, I found inspiration in Debra Messing's Quote about passion and perfection, this may just be the clue I needed.
"When you're passionate about something, you want it to be all it can be. But in the endgame of life, I fundamentally believe the key to happiness is letting go of that idea of perfection."
As I started to review what was said to me in this discussion, it occurred to me that this person highlighted one very important key to figuring me out. That is my very distinct patterns that I get in. When I get stressed or wound up about stuff, I immediately fall back on what I know to cope and that is I let myself get so wound up I don't know what to do with myself.
I read a very important book a month ago called "Life without Ed". The book is a remarkable read. I found it to be so helpful. It helps you to identify all those things or personalities that tell you bad things. I say I have to people that talk to me, no I don't hear voices, I have personality traits that live inside of me. One is what the book calls my abusive boyfriend Ed, he tells me I'm never good enough. The other one in the book and I love what they call her, that is Little Miss Perfect. She has a very loud voice in my life. I had learned to control her a bit in program and to tell myself it was OK not to be perfect. Let's face it, no one is perfect and everyone fails. It is how you deal with the failure or what you view as failure that makes a difference. Mine is more about what I view as failure or not meeting others expectations.
So my homework assignment for the weekend will be to re-evaluate how I have coped most recently with all the To Do's in my work and personal life and figure out what the right balance should have been and where I should have asked others for help.
I will close out with my favorite thing to do in my blogs and that is a quote. Today, I found inspiration in Debra Messing's Quote about passion and perfection, this may just be the clue I needed.
"When you're passionate about something, you want it to be all it can be. But in the endgame of life, I fundamentally believe the key to happiness is letting go of that idea of perfection."
Monday, February 11, 2013
Chinese Fortune
Today at work, we celebrate Chinese New Year with food. In the past, this would have been another one of my opportunities to lose control and just think oh I screwed up and didn't eat right. However, I took this opportunity to challenge myself to enjoy the my co-workers and the food without anxiety. So often the stress and anxiety of eating around others would overwhelm me and make me lose control. Today, I tried a little bit of everything and walked away pretty happy with no guilt.
When I cracked open my fortune cookie, it only seemed fitting that it would read: Investigate new possibilities with friends. Now is the time!!!
Every day of my journey, I learn something new. Whether it be about food, myself, my feelings or why food became such a presence in my life. I try to celebrate ever milestone or at least congratulate myself when I don't melt down.
I hope all of you discover the possibilities of being free of ED and all the hope it can bring into your life!!!!
When I cracked open my fortune cookie, it only seemed fitting that it would read: Investigate new possibilities with friends. Now is the time!!!
Every day of my journey, I learn something new. Whether it be about food, myself, my feelings or why food became such a presence in my life. I try to celebrate ever milestone or at least congratulate myself when I don't melt down.
I hope all of you discover the possibilities of being free of ED and all the hope it can bring into your life!!!!
Monday, February 4, 2013
Weekend Eating
I always find weekends to be challenging. There is not much normality to my schedule and I get out of all of my good habits that I have in place during the weekend. Before I would have been extremely punishing of myself in this scenario; however, now I just do the best I can. I try to get in all three meals and snacks. Snacks are the harder part and lunch gets very challenging, especially on Sundays. Sundays seem to be mostly brunch and dinner, so I allow myself a little more at each meal and still eat my three snacks like I normally would.
In the long run, you know one day of off schedule eating will not hurt you. You just have to remind yourself that you do the best you can and you can always hit the reset button at the next snack or meal.
In the long run, you know one day of off schedule eating will not hurt you. You just have to remind yourself that you do the best you can and you can always hit the reset button at the next snack or meal.
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